A few days in the life of. . . . . . . Wednesday evening, Aug 6, around 10, and I am overcome with mixed emotions because of what happened at the cave earlier with the tough, street kids who live there. But first, I must lay the foundation and take you back to Sunday, Aug 3, to explain the events that led to the totally unexpected, emotional outbursts from the boys.

On Saturday, Ole and I were planning an outing for Monday, barring rain, to a forested area, a few kilometers from Cluj called Faget (pronounced fuh-jet) to have a picnic, play soccer, sing songs and simply let the children have a "normal" day. We needed to inform the children about the outing, and also wanted give them some new (already worn) shoes, as well as food, so we went to the cave to find the them, but they weren't at "home." Ole said that we might be able to find them begging at the train station a couple of kilometers away. Upon arriving at the station, Ole headed down into a passageway that crosses beneath the road. This passageway has mini-bars and "restaurants" where the kids hang out, hoping for handouts. After questioning several people with no luck, Ole thought we might find them in the station, so we headed upstairs to search there.

As we searched, Ole told me of a 14 year old, run away girl who used to hang out at this station, begging for money. The employees began using her sexually. That was about 4 years ago, and he doesn't know what has become of her. Walking through the station, looking at the Romanians and Gypsies waiting for their trains to take them to different parts of the country, I couldn't help but wonder about this girl and where she was. What would make a young girl end up in this train station only to endure unspeakable abuses? Tears well up even now as I write about a girl whose name I don't even know.

We had no luck in the station. The rain was getting heavier as darkness fell, but Ole said there was another place to look, so we crossed the street. He asked a few people if they had seen any of the kids, and each person shook their heads. We started back to the car when Ole spotted Calin. He was waving his hand in greeting and his face had a HUGE grin on it. Ole spoke with him and Calin told him that the other kids had headed back to the cave because they had heard a "man with a beard" was looking for them. I asked how they knew this, and Ole said that word gets around. I call it GNN, Gypsy Network News. Calin asked where our machina (car) was, and I think he was a little surprised when Ole said that we would drive him back to the cave. When we returned to the cave, it was raining steadily and getting colder, and none of the others had arrived, so we went into the cave with Calin and let him check out the shoes. He found a pair that would fit, and about that time the other kids showed up. They were excited about the shoes as Ole pulled each pair out to see which kid would fit into which pair of shoes. I also bought them brand new socks. Calin's brother, Gabi, wasn't there, so Calin picked out a pair of shoes for him as well as socks.

We then distributed the food for them. We brought out the salami and bread and made them sandwiches. We had 7 bananas for 6 children. Ole said he would divide the last banana between them. Calin was adamant and refused, saying, "No, you eat ," and shoved the banana at us. The others unanimously agreed. No matter that we didn't want or need the banana, we had to eat with them. Later, Ole told me that this was a very significant thing for them to share their food with us. The irony of it all! We were there to take care of them and they wanted to share with us!

As we ate, Ole told them about the outing we had planned. They became very excited, but Ole had to settle them down and he explained the "rules." Number 1, they had to be FREE of any kind of chemicals. If we even smelled chemicals on one of them, that person would not go. Number 2, their bodies had to be clean. "Where can you wash?" Ole asked. La Somes (The Somes River). Well, they'll smell like the river, but they will be clean. Number 3, they are to behave, or we return from the trip early. They all eagerly agreed to the "rules" and appeared eager to go.

Monday morning started quite early. Shopping isn't a simple task here as in the US. You have to go from one store to the next, to open air markets, to tiny little specialty shops, if you want the best of things. The stores aren't close to each other, yet it's faster to walk than to get in the car and drive from one to the other. Anyway, in the midst of purchasing salami and bread, tomatoes and bananas, the sky looked like it couldn't make up its mind. To rain or not to rain, that was its dilemma. I breathed a prayer for sunshine.

I was about one-half hour behind schedule when I met Ole at the cave. The kids were all smiles, and had on their new shoes. All of them were clean. Not "spic-'n'-span" by any stretch of the imagination, but clean. ALL were free of chemicals! They were stunned when I brought out a huge punga (plastic bag) filled with "new" (donated) clothes for them! They tried on the blue jeans and the shirts, and each one found something to fit. We then walked up the steps to the car. Picture it, six kids, two adults, one car! YIKES! It didn't take a crowbar to get everyone in though, because all of the children are small for their ages. Calin at 14, looks about 12, his brother Gabi at 15, looks about 13, and so on. The two larger boys, Claudiu and Jacomin had a boy sitting on their laps and the other two boys sort of "schmushed" together in the middle.

Outing in Faget. Left to Right: Jacomin, Marius, Gabi, Zan, Claudiu, Ole (social worker with Cristiana, a Romanian Orthodox charity

Faget is a beautiful area. Gently sloping meadows rim wonderful forested hills inviting hikes and nature walks. It didn't take long to find a great place to spread out a blanket. Ole brought out his guitar. When they saw the soccer ball we brought, the kids immediately started kicking it around, butting it with their heads and running the ball all over the meadow. To look at us, one would think we were simply taking ordinary school kids out for a day in the country. The boys had their disagreements, but Ole made a very interesting observation about this, pointing out that they operate as a unit and forgive each other easily and get conflicts settled among themselves quickly. I guess that comes from living so closely together for so long.

They loved it when I brought out my camera and began taking pictures of everyone. Then they wanted to take pictures of each other. I showed them how to use the camera. Have you ever shown anyone how a zoom lens works and watched the wonder in their eyes as they see, for the first time in their lives, an object go from "ant" size to "elephant" size?? Each boy would pull the camera away from his eye and find the object they were seeing in the lens, then let out a surprised laugh! Each one had to take a picture of the group, or of the car, or of the restaurant across the street. When the last picture was taken by 18 year old Jacomin, the automatic rewind kicked in and he thought he had broken the camera! Ole had to explain what was happening with the film inside.

After a few hours, we began to make our way back to Cluj stopping periodically to hike through some more forest, and across creeks. The kids got a kick out of the "sissy" American lady who slipped and slid up and down the hillside. They reached out to grab me when they saw I lost my footing the first time, and from then on, they were very attentive and made certain that my steps were secure. We stopped by one forested area and as I perused the trees, something very unusual caught my eyes. In among the dark shadows of the trees, there appeared to be white clouds "floating" very slowly on the forest floor. I blinked my eyes, trying figure it out when Ole said, "Oh look, sheep are in the forest." Sure enough, a shepherd was lying down beside his sheep as they milled about, getting a comfortable place to take a nap. Quietly, we walked closer. Not a noise coming from any of the sheep. They seemed so peaceful and content. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. . ." came immediately to mind.

The day couldn't have been more beautiful; no rain! When we took the boys back to the cave, it was difficult to say goodbye. They kept asking when Ole would return and when I would return. I learned long ago on our first initial trips into Romania, never promise anything you cannot follow through on. I told them that I didn't know for sure when I would be back, but that it would be this week, and it would be soon. As we drove away, my head kept telling me that it's not right to be leaving these young children, unattended, at their home, in a cave!

This brings me to today and the outburst of emotion from these children I am coming to love so much. Around noon, I picked up the pictures we had taken while at Faget. I carefully examined the photos and picked out six pictures, one for each child who had been on the outing. I made six envelopes out of my computer paper so they would be somewhat protected from the elements, and put each child's name on the backs of the pictures and on the front of each envelope. I also brought the other pictures we had taken that were similar to the ones I was giving them. Big mistake!

I had seen Iosef, one of the kids from the cave, begging on the streets earlier in the day and I bought him a hamburger and a cola, and told him that I would be up at the cave, "seara, pe la opt," (tonight around 8). My friend, Radu, was going up for the first time with me to meet the cave kids. He seemed a little apprehensive as I picked him up. Calin's grin greeted us as I parked the car. He proudly showed off a lit cigar butt he clenched between his teeth! I introduced him to Radu and we headed down to the cave. Iosef was on the lookout and ran to say "Alo!" and to take the punga I carried. They led us to a place which at one time must have been an arbor, but is now overgrown and the children use it as sort of a "meeting room." Jacomin was there, and I asked about Gabi and Marius and Claudiu. Gabi and Marius were at "la gara" (the train station). Claudiu, they indicated with their hands, had *gone* and someone said, "la casa" (the house). I've learned that Claudiu does have a "home" in Cluj, but when they have said he is at "la casa" before, he was back in the cave the next day.

Fun, fun, fun! Faget outing. Left to Right: Marius, Zan, Ole, Calin, Gabi (green hat) Calin's 15 year old brother, and in front, Claudiu "The Body Guard"

After finding out where everyone was, I pulled out the envelopes with the pictures. Food was forgotten as "oohhhs" and "aahhhs" went around. Marius arrived from "la gara" about that time and was looking over everyone's shoulders. I then showed them the other pictures and explained I would make copies for them, but that these were "pentru mine" (for me). In these pictures were photos of one of the boys, Sandel, who has since left for parts unknown. When Calin saw his good friend's face, tears began to stream down his face! This tough little boy was crying openly and unashamed! I became alarmed and got Radu to ask what was wrong. "Sandel," he said. He missed Sandel!

Next, Marius saw one of the pictures I was giving to his brother, Jacomin. I happened to be in the photo, and Marius ran to the other side of the arbor and fell to his knees and began weeping uncontrollably, and crying to God, "O Doamne, Doamne," over and over, and "Tante Zan!" "Tante" is a word of respect, akin to ma'am. I asked Radu, "What's happening?" Marius continued with the "O Doamne!" and "Tante Zan!" as he held the picture up and brought it back down to his chest. He would look at it, then kiss it. He got off his knees and came to me with arms partially outstretched. I held him close like a mother, as he wept and wept. At the same time, Jacomin began weeping silently, tears flowing freely down his cheeks as he looked at the pictures with a great amount of pain in his eyes. Calin's crocodile tears continued their trek down his face. Iosef seemed to be the only one unaffected! I went from one to the other, trying to calm them down. Marius climbed down the arbor section we were in, to lower ground and wouldn't come back up for a while.

Through the confusion I told Radu that we needed to divert their attention with the food. Iosef began eating first. Calin got his tears under control, but Jacomin, even though he seemed calm, became quite and distant. I gave him one of the huge sandwiches I had made, but he laid it aside. Finally, one by one they ate the food and drank the juice. Even Marius rejoined us and began to eat.

When we left, the boys seemed better, knowing we would return this Friday evening around 8:00, WITH the copies of more pictures. They had to hear me say, "promit" (I promise) in Romanian before they would believe me.

Radu and I left pretty shaken. What made these tough and street-wise boys lose control like that? The only thing we could figure out was a combination of things. First, they had been sniffing their chemicals, not a great deal, but the stench was present. Second, they weren't used to people treating them with kindness like having anyone give them pictures of themselves. Third, the adventure into Faget had meant a great deal to them and they were overcome by the memory. Fourth, it was a chain reaction. Calin began by being upset over his friend Sandel not being there anymore, and the other two followed suit. Possibly we'll never know the real reason. As I related the event to Ole, who has known them for several years, he believed that the "normalcy" of the day and the memory of it, was simply too much for them to bear as they saw the pictures.

Subsequent visits have not been an emotional bombshell. I've been going up to see the cave kids nearly every day and have become a one-woman soup kitchen every other day. I wish I could do it every day. Anyway, I'm learning how to become economical while at the same time, give them filling, nutritional food.

On Monday, Aug 11, Ole and I were driving up to bring them food when a young boy came up to the car while we were at a stop light. As he began his "begging spiel" Ole recognized him and greeted him with, "Servus Paul." You should have seen Paul's face light up at the sight of Ole! They talked until the light turned green. Thru snatches of my limited understanding of Romanian, I gathered that Paul is a street kid, living in another section of town under a highway overpass with his brother. Ole filled me in that Paul is not nearly as aggressive as the cave kids, in fact, he's frightened of them. I asked him though, why we didn't pick him up and take him up to the cave with us to eat. He thought that was a good idea, so we turned around and drove back, all in the space of 2 minutes, and Paul was no where in sight! I parked the car and Ole and I began to walk the streets in the vicinity, looking in stores and searching the street corners for his face. After a few minutes we gave up.

Ole had told me about one of the cave kids, Claudiu, who had been picked up by the police today for stealing and was taken to the juvenile detention center. We decided to head over there before going up to the cave because I had pictures from the outing at Faget for Claudiu. The juvenile center was nearby, so we drove on over. When we arrived, we learned that he had already been released from the center because Claudiu had "given up" names of "bigger fish" who had stolen much more important things than he had, so they let him go.

Before heading back up for the cave, we decided search for Paul again. Ole had an idea that he could be more toward the center of town, and sure enough, we spotted Paul approaching cars as they stopped at a red light, hand outstretched, begging for money. Ole persuaded Paul to go up to the cave with us.

What's really fascinating about these kids is the social structure they've formed. There's obviously a "boss" but the head position is shared by both Jacomin and Claudiu. Claudiu has the physical power to enforce the "pecking" order, and for protection. Jacomin appears to be the leader concerning how things will be done. For instance, when we bring food to them, he decides where we'll eat, and he will send one of the boys to get a particular item from the cave if something is needed. It was Jacomin who decided *when* I could take pictures of them. On our first meeting, he definitely would not allow it. It was only this past Saturday afternoon that Jacomin finally allowed me to take pictures of the larger cave where they keep some of their "stash." I recently found out that they sleep in the smaller "hole" that's approximately 2 1/2 meters deep.

Calin is obviously the "brains" of the group. He's small, thinks on his feet, and can be REAL "mouthy," particularly when he's been sniffing too much glue for too long! These kids take it in like oxygen. Calin is the cut-up and joker of this unit of boys. Calin however, is also quite moody. If he becomes angry, he sulks and won't speak for a while. Iosef is the most balanced of the children, and has been on the streets the shortest amount of time. He's quite and considerate. Marius hasn't quite found his place yet, and relies heavily on his brother Jacomin. His smile lights up everything around him. He's also very volatile and emotional.

When we brought Paul to the cave with us, it was quite obvious that he didn't fit in and he was not at ease. He hung back, and I had to encourage him with, "Haide, aici" (Come on, here!). Shyly he took a few steps forward toward me, but still kept his distance from the other boys.

When we left them, Ole shook their hands and patted them on the backs. I made sure I did the Romanian "Hello/Goodbye" greeting which is a kiss on each cheek. Ole later told me that they are quite surprised that I do this. No one kisses them; much less the "dirty" Gypsy children. He let out a huge "sigh" and said, "Oh the prejudices they face." It has always disturbed me how people in Romania, including Christians, have treated Gypsies! Now, here I am, kissing them "hello" and "good bye." Oh how we forget how much a loving touch can do for the unloved.

Days are passing so quickly. It's Wednesday evening, Aug 13, and I just returned from taking food to the cave kids. One of the things their "boss," Jacomin, asked me was if I had any toothpaste and brushes. Can you imagine it? An 18 year old asking for such basic items we take so much for granted? Do you think I put those items on the top of my list for them??? You bet! I've been feeding them on Mon, Wed, and Fri. No matter how much food I take to these growing boys, they're always hungry. Jacomin also asked me about blankets. I told him about blankets that are on the way from the States. Between them all, they have ONE blanket! The blankets that are being sent for them should be here in October. I have witnessed the kindness of local people toward them. Two older women come by and drop off bread or milk, but their problems are numerous, their needs are great. Every time I'm with them, their bodies have fresh scraps, bruises, wounds. They hunger not only for food, but also for attention, for a kind word, a touch, a hug, for love.

Please, continue to keep the cave kids in your prayers.

Cu mult drag. . . (With much love)

Zan

Down the trail with Zan to Volume VII ...
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