Sometimes, when I think my heart can't break any more than it already has over these cave kids, something else happens and I'm crushed even farther! Yesterday, Monday, Aug 18, when I brought them their "daily bread",
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when I bring their dinner up to their cave |
Then I remembered that everything they possessed, the toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, razors, any extra piece of clothing they owned had been stolen a few nights before. That was the reason we were bringing food to them at a different location on the hotel grounds! They had to move out of the cave for a few days until things "cooled" off from the scare a couple nights before when they were 'roused from their sleep by a man and older, larger teenagers, with threats death. The boys barely escaped intact! They assured me though, that this coming weekend, they will be back at the cave. Meanwhile, they were literally sleeping under the sheltering branches of trees, but exposed to the elements. Fortunately, this is the first week since I've been here that there has been no rain! Anyway, during our conversation this day, they said they'd be able to take care of their food for a while, and that they knew of second hand stores where you could buy clothing for pretty cheap. I choked up this time and nearly lost it! Couldn't have those boys see the way I can REALLY cry now, could I?! How can one hold back the overload of tears while, sitting before me on the bare ground, children were choosing between several "sure" meals or clothes. "How can this be?" my brain kept asking. They chose the clothes.
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When I left the boys the night before, I told them that I could only take two of the kids with me, and they had to behave. It seemed only natural to take Jacomin,the "Boss" and Claudiu, the "Body Guard," since they are the oldest. Well, all the boys wanted to go, but I had to get firm, "doa oamen sau nu haine," two people or no clothes! I've had to use that phrase more than once. It's becoming a standard with me now and just "rolls" easily off my tongue!
When we went to the first shop, it was a bit awkward. The two ladies in charge, viewed us with suspicion at first, then they realized our "mission" and each pitched right in, helping us pick out sizes and colors, and figured out the cost as we progressed. Everything was secondhand, but in decent condition, and most importantly, everything was inexpensive! Jacomin and Claudiu were really getting into the spirit of the adventure, and both spotted a pair of "neon" shorts. You know the kind, with colors so loud you can hear them coming a mile away. Well, the shorts simply were not practical, so I said "no" to them. Next door to this shop was another secondhand store, and we went there, but had no luck. So far, we had 3 pairs of pants and 7 shirts. There was more to buy, so we got back into the car and headed for another part of town where, I was assured, there were more shops like the two we just left. The boys were right, and we were able to buy 3 more pairs of jeans, as well as two nice jackets. But before heading back, we had to buy inghetata (ice cream) and suc (juice). It was nearly 3:30 when we headed back to their new "home" under the trees.
When we arrived at the hotel, I was rifling through the pungas (plastic bags) to see what all we had gotten, and to make certain each boy received the correct pair of pants and shirt. In among the clothes, I spotted those neon shorts! I pulled them out of the bag and confronted the boys!
Immediately, Jacomin pointed the finger at Claudiu, saying that he had ripped them off! Claudiu put the blame on Jacomin. I smelled collusion! Need I tell you the emotions running through my guts? The first was compassion. I totally understood why they would do such a thing. Second, remorse, that they would do such a thing with ME. I'm somewhat of a realist where kids like this are concerned and was expecting something of the sort, but I thought it would be with something that was mine, not from a store. Third, anger, that they would have the gall to do this when I told them "NO" to the shorts to begin with. Fourth, resignation, that this is the way they are, and they will never change. I fleetingly thought about letting them keep the shorts. No one would miss one pair of shorts, and after all, they were only 17,000 lei, about $2.10. It was this thought that brought me back to earth. NO! I took the shorts and put them into the trunk of the car. I turned to Andrei, and told him, "I need you to translate this very precisely for me. They need to understand why I'm taking the shorts back." Andrei got very serious and listened intently.
I had everyone's attention so I began, "I promised to take you to buy clothes today. We did this. I did not take you to these stores to have you steal anything from them. I'm taking the shorts back to the store because when you steal and I am with you, it is the same thing as ME stealing. I can not allow that." I was as loving, yet firm, as I could be in my manner and my voice. Andrei translated and Jacomin got very thoughtful in his manner and finally agreed. He understood. He actually had no choice in the matter, but I needed to let him know that this was unacceptable behavior. I could have turned a "blind eye" to this theft, but they would surely think they had put one over on me. If I shrugged it off and let them keep the shorts, I realized that I would be setting a horrible example. If I "acted" like I was taking the shorts back, then actually bought them and took the shorts back to them, they would then think all they had to do was steal whatever they desired and that I would take care of it later. I realized that I was at a crossroad in my relationship with these cave kids and I had to take the "high" ground.
All in all, it was a good day. I think that getting 6 pairs of jeans, 7 shirts, and 2 jackets for around $35.00 was a pretty good deal, don't you? One sad note is that Calin is absolutely barefooted. No shoes. No socks. I looked at all the secondhand shops we went into. Women's shoes abound. Shoes for boys and men are sorely lacking. On the drive home, Jacomin mentioned that they needed soap to bathe. I was extremely glad the boys were the first to mention that they needed soap. Do they ever!!!! Enough said!
What happened next when we returned the shorts, is what truly amazed and startled me. Andrei, Doris and I marched into the secondhand shop from where the shorts had been stolen and spoke to the two women in charge. There were possibly five, maybe six other people in the shop at the time, and everyone became absolutely silent as Andrei explained why we were there. He reminded them who we were and told about the "vagabonds" (Romanian word for the homeless) we'd brought into the shop, the women nodded their heads, and their eyes registered recognition. About this time, the other shoppers became even more interested in this tale and stepped a little closer to hear. Andrei continued to tell them that we had discovered the shorts and were returning them because we had not bought them. The ladies were stunned and the one we gave them to, held the shorts in an awkward manner, switching them from hand to hand as if she didn't know what to do with the shorts! When Andrei finished, he said, "Imi pare rau" (I'm sorry) and "La revedere" (good bye) all the patrons broke out in smiles and shouted hearty congratulations, a few even clapped their hands for us as we left. I naturally asked what they were all saying, and Andrei explained that no one returns things that have been stolen like this, and they were glad to see this happen.
My heart aches that children have to be faced with such a horrible decision: clothes or food. Food or clothes. That's not the kind of decision children should be put in the position of having to make for themselves.
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L to R: Jacomin, Cristi, Claudiu, Calin |
Some how, Calin had gotten a hold of eye-shadow and had smeared over and under his left eye, and some was smeared under his right eye as well. I sucked in my breath, wondering how he would act toward me. I got out of the car, and he retreated behind the garbage dumpster he'd been sitting on top of. I called to him, "Haide, Calin! Hai aici!" "Come on, Calin! Come here!" But he wouldn't come out from behind the dumpster, so Claudiu and Marius and I walked on over to the cave and began spreading out the food. Everyone else was still in the streets, after all, it was only 5:30 in the afternoon. Claudiu carefully doled out food for each boy, including those absent. Then he and Marius began to eat. Calin couldn't resist any longer and joined us. Claudiu looked so handsome in his new black shirt and the jeans we'd gotten at the secondhand store. Calin had on one of the jackets I'd gotten for them. Marius had on the red, white and blue sweatshirt and the blue jeans we'd bought. Everything seemed pretty much back to "normal" after the terror a few nights before. But not for long.
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They bring their stuff out of the cave and burn it all. |
Be still my heart! I found the cave kids today, Wed! They were out on the streets begging. I spotted Joseph, and he came running over. A few minutes later, Claudiu spotted us and came up to the car, with a big grin on his face. Through "charades" (what a sight that must have made to passersby, with my "slit throat" gestures) I managed to ask about Sunday night and the girls getting killed up at the Belvedere. They confirmed that it was so. But they're living back at the cave, and seem unaffected by the whole incident. Ole is going up with me tomorrow night at 7, and I plan on getting the full story from them. When I met with Ole today, and told him what I'd found out about the kids, he told me that the boys would be back at the cave soon. Ole's known these boys for nearly 4 years, and he was so correct.
On Thursday night, we managed to separate truth from fabrication, and got to the bottom of Sunday night's incident. The boys told Ole that two women were killed that night, but they saw nothing. The police questioned them about the murders, but soon realized they had nothing to do with it. They had gotten scared again and spent a couple of nights away from the cave. Even Sandel, one of the boys from my first contact with the cave kids, was back at the cave. Ole wasn't able to get a straight answer about where he had been, but did gather that he had been at "la casa" for a while.
One of the most frequent questions I put to them through my translators is, "If you go home, why don't you stay home?" Most of them answer with vague responses, but I continually hear about the alcoholic stepfather who physically abuses them, and the mother who doesn't care and is generally alcoholic too.
One thing I have noticed over the month-and-a-half since beginning a relationship with them is that a change is taking place in the boys. This evening, Craig Goodwin and I went up to bring them a warm blanket and food. When we drove up, Calin met us on the road. I thought this was strange because generally, Calin is sniffing his chemicals near the cave. I stopped and let him in the car for the short drive to the parking area, where the other boys were waiting. We got out of the car and the first thing I noticed, and have noticed on a few previous visits, that every one of them were free of any kind of drugs or chemicals! They were all pretty clean, Jacomin had even washed his jet black hair. I realize that to anyone else, this wouldn't be such a big deal, but to see this change in them has been amazing. I also see most of the boys begging in the streets, so when I've stopped and talked with them lately I'll take them to buy hamburgers, they have been free of any drugs or chemicals. I am simply amazed!
I found out today, Sunday, Aug 31, exactly why Calin has been staying aloof and out of the immediate "circle" of the cave kids. Doris, a young girl living near my block of flats, and I took some slanina (a kind of bacon that they absolutely love) and paine (bread) with some tomatoes and milk and juice. Only Jacomin and Cristi were there. Jacomin's hair was washed and neatly combed, Cristi looked better, clear eyes, clean face, and quite talkative. Last evening, they asked me to bring them some candles for light in the cave. So today, I brought them a supriza (surprise). I happened to have one large,vanilla scented candle left at my flat that I brought as gifts for friends. I thought this candle would be perfect for them. I kept teasing Jacomin and Cristi as we walked to the cave, that there was a big surprise in the bag. I wouldn't let them even peek inside! Upon reaching the cave, I told them that they had to turn their backs while I got out the "supriza" but first, one of them had to give me a lighter. Jacomin obliged. Doris made certain they kept their backs turned to me while I lit the candle and placed it in grota mica (the small cave) where they sleep. "OK, turn around," I said. Jacomin walked over to the entrance of the cave, and picked up the candle. I indicated for him to put his nose close and to smell the vanilla aroma. "Yoi!!" was Jacomin's reply. Cristi stuck his nose close, and his saucer-wide, brown eyes told me what he thought!
Doris and I began walking back to the car, Jacomin volunteered some information that was completely unexpected. Doris translated and essentially it went something like this. The boys have been totally off drugs and chemicals for two whole weeks. One of the reasons we haven't seen Calin living up at the cave with them lately is because they can't control his drug and chemical intake so they kicked him out! This news was an absolute "supriza" to me! It's been very obvious that their eyes have been quite clear, and they carried on very lucid conversations during the past couple of weeks. They have lost that "wild" quality that went hand-in-hand with the chemicals they would sniff daily. They were even cleaning up the area where we would eat and throw the trash away! It's little indications such as this that tell me these boys truly desire change in their lives!
I do realize that it's going to take a permanent program that lasts a "tad" longer than two months to make major headway into their lives, to make them realize they need to change their lifestyles more than they need their chemicals and "free wheeling" way of life. The older ones were telling me how much they want to work, yet they have no schooling, and no skills. The government won't let them obtain the skills because they have no schooling or home or money. They are in a vicious circle which offers no escape.
Please continue to pray for the cave kids. It's getting cold here, they have a few, blankets between them, their clothing is in tatters. The cave kids are people who have simply been "thrown away" by their families and by society. My heart breaks for them, but not as much as I know the Lord's heart is broken for them.
Cu mult drag. . .Zan
(With much love)