6/10/2008 Pastoral Bloopers... Carlos Rosado, on the future of The Vine... "I don't want to end up in the Mexican restaurant down the street flipping pizzas!"  Mother's Day sermon topic at Martinsburg... "The Weight of Mothers"

	5/13/2008 In a conversation with Lois Mason, Administrative Assistant to General Church Secretary, Don McNiven, she mentioned in passing that her mother had taught Kim Roberts (Crossroads) in elementary school in California.  I mentioned this to Bishop Rob, and knowing that Kim & Bishop Perry Engle had been classmates, he stated that Lois' mom had likely taught Bishop Perry as well.  When I related his statement to Lois, she responded, "Yes, she did teach Perry...and he turned out pretty good." To which Bishop Rob replied..."for the most part".  = ) ~Mary Ellen Feight

	1/17/2008 Excerpt from a family Christmas newsletter, written by Earl Herr, Martinsburg... "I think noses should confine themselves to smelling, not running and feet should confine themselves to running, not smelling." Good advice, Don't you think?

	10/29/2007 Excerpt from an email composed by Bruce Prestidge, Executive Pastor at Antrim... "I had a Supreme High Potentate Pizza once...a little cheesy!"

	9/10/2007 from the webmaster, regarding the software for our new website... "DREAMWEAVER MY FOOT!  This stuff should be called NIGHTMARE!!!"

	8/1/2007 Over heard in the Bishop's office... It's time to go home now.  My fingers are typing words that don't make sense!

	7/30/2007 In email correspondence with the Allegheny Conference, one of our newest pastors, Walt Roberts, Crossroads wrote...  Don't be fooled, my "calm, cool, and collected" is really just a mask for  "dazed, dumb, and deluded"... I believe we'll give him the benefit of the doubt...for now.  = ) (posted by Mary Ellen Feight)

	A recent email to my office was signed: Blaine the Pain, Pastor to the Pastorless, The Voice of Understanding to those who have none I replied with the question, those who have no voice or those who have no understanding? I have yet to recieve a response.  I guess the jury is still deliberating.         = ) posted by Mary Ellen Feight

	As related by Jill Thompson, author of Soul Battle, the biography of Carlos Rosado...   “I attended the first service of The Vine, Carlos' church plant in Smithsburg. We were sitting around before the service started chatting and introducing ourselves to one another. A nice lady came up to me and introduced herself.  I said, “Hi, I'm Jill.”   We talked about how we came to be there. She mentioned the church they had attended in the past, and that she and her husband heard about this new church starting and thought they might be interested.   I shared that I was there to support Carlos and that I had gotten to know him when he was the youth pastor for our sons.  I spoke of how dynamic he was about his faith.   Then SHE said, “Oh yes, Carlos has quite a personality. And you know there's a book written about him that I just read. It was soooo good! His story is truly inspirational.”   THEN she says, "It's called Soul Battle, have you read it?"   Now I could've had a lot of fun with that question, but I was nice…“Read it?  I wrote it!” I replied.   "Oh my," was all she could say at first, but then we had a good laugh.  Fun stuff and encouragement besides...after all, she DID recommend reading it!

	2/27/2007 In response to seeing the completed promo for the Strategic Prayer Conference, a member of the Worship Council writes:   I'm feeling like the Cheshire cat right now....I sit back with a contented grin on my face while you do all the work!  It's a sweet deal on my end!  Put a big check mark over this one on the "to do" list.  You even deserve a smiley face!     Ahh, the sweet smell of success!--ME

	2/20/2007 Closing line of an email to Conference Secretary, Earl Herr regarding the time limit for getting the Annual Meeting Agenda to the printer:   Deadlines, deadlines...what WOULD we do without them???   Earl's response:    WE'D SLEEP LATER AND HAVE LOWER BLOOD PRESSURE BUT PROBABLY GET A LOT LESS DONE. Earl   (posted by Mary Ellen Feight)

	1/25/2007   The following correspondence came through our office today:   Hi Kids: I am writing you because I recently got a message from Terry Hoke encouraging me to try again to facilitate a meeting of our cluster group. So here goes. I have Wednesday morning February 21 at 11:00 AM available to meet with you and the Cburg Church Board Room is available.    So what think ye men of renown? Please punch Reply All so we can all see what the others are writing in response.    Your exceedingly humble servant Ken Hepner   One reply:   That finds graceful approval amidst my convoluted schedule, ye most exceedingly humble servant. ie. yes.   Ky the Robert DeSearcy, Esquire of diminutive renown, from the pie laden fields of dairy country.   You just never know what a Thursday will bring!  = )   (posted by Mary Ellen Feight)

	12/20/2006 Via email from Tim Fisher, pastor of Walkersville BIC, and author of It's a Sign: This evening at church I was pulling up the Allegheny Conference web page to look up a phone number and the home page with Bishop Rob's picture was on the screen. My 14 year old son, Stephen, saw this and said, "Hey, there's that cool dude!" So let Bishop Rob know he's one cool dude!!

	12/05/2006 From the Bishop's Office:   I think we should fine the pastors who fail to turn in a quarterly report to the Bishop's office.  We'll use a sliding scale; 1% of their gross annual per quarter.   Yeah, we'll take the money we collect and put it in a fund. We'll call it...   "UNCOOPERATIVE MINISTRIES"   (aka the Bishop's 'Slush' Fund)     Posted by Mary Ellen Feight, AA to BR (aka She Who Gathers Reports)

	10/23/2006 Overheard among our Church Leaders... "I love Bishop Ken.  He's my bishop; so I can fight with him" and "I'm not sure what I just said, but that's what I meant." = )

	10/18/2006 Received in our office... "Help us put an end to junk faxes once and for all...If you were sent COMMERCIAL FAX ADVERTISING...without your prior consent, the advertisers behind those faxes may be liable...We are developing a list of collection oragnizations that will legally persue junk fax offenders...mail them your unwanted junk faxes...Join the crusade to stop junk faxes...log on to our website..." How did we receive this????   BY FAX!!!!!!!!    = / (Posted by Mary Ellen)

	10/11/2006 An email from the one and only Ken Hepner, Pastor of the Chambersburg BIC Church... Subject line:  Hi Kids   Ken at the keyboard -- verily I say unto thee enclosed should be thy quarterly report.     I love my job!  = )  posted by Mary Ellen Feight

	9/28/2006   From the BIC Talk List, Bishop Perry Engle writes:    I have one more use for duct tape...   My nine-year-old daughter Sophie recently asked if she could start shaving her legs (understand, she has sisters aged 13 and 15) and Marta and I said no, absolutely not.   But there was an alternative she could try, I suggested.  I told her she could take as much duct tape as she wanted and stick it on her leg, and pull it off, and it would do the same thing as shaving.   So she took me up on the suggestion and tried it.   And she hasn't asked about shaving her legs since.  :-)   Posted at the request of Bishop Rob  = )

	9/21/2006 I was attempting to send an email to Darrell Potteiger, chairman of the Worship Council, when a slip of the finger caused it to go to Dwayne Potteiger, Senior Pastor at Antrim instead.  My email response when the misdirected note was drawn to my attention by its unintended recipient: OH DRAT!!! I believe there should be a law against: 1.  More than one child in a family with the same first initial. 2.  Two brothers with the same first initial being pastors in the same conference.   3.  Two brothers with the same first initial being pastors in the same conference having the same beginnings to their email addresses.   There are probably more things that there should be laws against, but at the moment, I can't think of any.    Give me a few minutes...I'll come up with something!!!   = )   Posted by Mary Ellen Feight, Administrative Assistant to Bishop Rob

	9/20/2006 Linguistic Evolution... The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k." Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "W" by "V". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru. < From BIC Talk >

	9/12/2006   fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno ' t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!   (Psteod by Mray Eleln Fgeiht)  = ) (from BIC TALK)

	9/7/2006   "It's not that anything is wrong...it's just that something isn't right."

	8/29/2006   Mary Ellen says:  "My brain hurts."   Bishop Rob says:  "My brain doesn't hurt in the same way morphine makes things not hurt."   So much for conference leadership today!    = )

	8/25/2006 Bishop Rob on why cats do the things they do... "My cat will walk 20 miles to a field to catch a mole when there are mice living in my back yard..." My  reply... "Moles are a delicacy; they taste like chicken." Mary Ellen Feight, Administrative Assistant to Bishop Rob, webmaster

	8/16/2006    From correspondence regarding the news that Pastor Ron and Sharon Hott have become the proud grandparents of thier first grandson (their third grandchild):  ME:  By the way, did you pat PAPPY RON on the back yet today??? He's got a brand new NINE POUND grandson!!!!! JEFF:  No I didn't. All I know is he isn't at work today or at least he wasn't @ 6am. Thanks for the update, I will congratulate him. ME:  He'll be late, if he makes it at all. It takes a while to sew the buttons back on all your shirts...especially when they keep popping back off as the chest puffs a little more! Better congratulate him from a distance. You could lose an eye!!!!!   = ) Submitted by the webmaster, Mary Ellen Feight

	8/15/2006    "Days go by so quickly", she said as she pried herself away from the keyboard. *~sigh~*

	8/4/2006 Now THAT'S respect... "You have way too much impact to be telling you things   :-)  Never share secrets with a woman with websites!!  She's armed and dangerous."    ...said Laurie to the ferocious webmaster (who shall remain nameless!) = )

	8/3/2006   How's That? Who says board meetings have to be dull???  These comments were heard during a pastoral interview at New Guilford last week...   One board member stated: "There were people there that weren't there..."  Hmmm...   Also heard: "When a church has this 'ground up perspective', it gets ground up..." Huh???   and my favorite: "I do some of my best sleeping when I'm driving!" = /