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*Interview OBs, pediatricians, doulas, and possibly mohels. I thought that these things were either not very important, or
something I could do later. But once the baby is born, you have no time or energy to do it, and you end up making uninformed
decisions out of desperation. I didn't realize how often I would be visiting both OB and pediatrician in the first 6-8 weeks.
I also didn't realize how many different philosophies there are about birth and parenting, and how badly I would need my doctor
to be of like mind with me so I could trust her when in doubt. You get so overwhelmed with the information in books and from
other moms! SO, make sure you have doctors whom you trust, and who are located nearby. It is hard to travel around with
a little baby.
*Assemble a team of helpers. Contact any friends and family you think might be willing to help you, and make a list of
their names, phone numbers, and available times. Tell them specifically what you want, which is probably: to bring you lunch
and some frozen dinners, to do a load of laundry, and then leave. Or, to take the baby for a walk in the stroller while you
take a nap. Keep the list handy and use it often!
Along similar lines, if you can afford it, interview and hire a "postpartum doula" (for referrals, check on-line,
ask your OB, birth class instructor, local mom's groups, craigslist, female friends, etc.) This is not a "luxury service"
where somebody comes over to rub your feet while you relax; it is a mental health service where a woman who knows what newborns
and new moms are like comes over to help you organize your new schedule, get household chores done, hold the baby, give pointers,
etc. At about $30 per hour, it is WORTH IT.
*Anticipate being really hungry, and not being able to cook meals. (You may also have trouble eating meals; I recommend
stocking up on "soft" foods you can eat with a fork in one hand, while you hold the baby with the other). Make
a list of local delivery restaurants and keep it handy. Stock the freezer with tons of frozen, ready-to-go meals. Arrange
for friends to bring groceries. Trader Joe's is a good resource.
*Promote your registry. Don't be embarrassed about this. The truth is, people are going to buy your baby gifts anyway.
If they don't know about your registry, you'll end up with 50 blankies and $2500 in debt. A good plan is to use Target's
on-line registry (it's easy for relatives around the country to use, and it has a good stock and a good return policy). Then,
you might have a second registry at a local boutique, or even just make a list of individual items you want, regardless of
store location. Make a clear statement to friends and family that there are a lot of basic items you need on the registry,
and that you'd genuinely rather have a 12-pack of plain cloth diapers or a gift certificate than a pair of booties.
*Take more pictures than you think you need during pregnancy, delivery, and the baby's first few weeks. Each of these times
will seem like a dream to you a few months down the line, and what could be more amazing than photos of a dream? If you have
a doula or a friend (other than your partner) in the delivery room, put them in charge of the camera. I requested gory close-ups,
which I got and love, but forgot to ask for regular photos of myself in labor. I was in such an altered state at the time,
I would love to see evidence of what it was really like! I would say that snapshots/digital might be better than film, because
things happen quickly during delivery. And face it, you won't be showing your birth photos around much. After the baby is
born, you can get out the Hasselblad. In a few months, your baby will look COMPLETELY different, so capture his skinny arms
and frog body. Remember to take pictures of daily activities, like bathing, nursing, sleeping, crying. And make sure the
adults are in the picture. Otherwise, you end up with a thousand portraits of an out-of-context baby head with the same expression,
and no real information about that phase of the baby's life.
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