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The College Life
By Ryan Flunker  The alarm goes off... Beep...Beep... Beep! You drearily
glance over, "Is it 7:30 already, I just went to bed." As you stumble out of bed
you see your dorm mates lurching like zombies. You blaze a trail through the dirty laundry
and pizza boxes to what you remember as being the bathroom. There is no sink, just a heap
of toiletry items, and no showers, just hairy bodies grabbing for a towel. You make it
back to what you hope is your room and get dressed the old fashion way, one leg at a time.
Then it's off to class. As you walk outside the sunlight unforgivingly hits you and you
squint through your already throbbing eyes. Somewhere between walking out that door and
entering the classroom was a list of events that you can't recall, in fact you can't
recall how you even got to class. But you're there, and the professor (who has already
been up since 4 am) joyfully prances into the room eager to fill these hungry, young adult
minds with as much life-applicating nonsense that is humanly possible to soak in before
reaching the brink of insanity... Well, some mornings, it feels that way. So you doze... I
mean make it though your first class. Now at about this time your stomach kicks in saying,
"HEY, you know all that pizza you ate last night? Well, I am going to make you sick
if you don't feed me some good breakfast! Arrrggghh!" So you wander over to the
cafeteria, (again once you reach it you can't recall how you got there) and as you enter,
your senses react to that ominous, air thickening, almost putrid cafeteria fragrance that
I believe all college campuses have. Desensitization takes over in about 3 minutes though
and you're alright. The food’s always the same, and as a freshman you have about
three weeks of enjoyment until you realize...you are going to die. Cookies from home are a
blessing from God. Well, you have made it through a few classes and it's about 12:00. And
we all know what that means, nap-time! Somewhere between 11:30 and 1:00 the whole campus
has fallen asleep. Face it, when you deprive your body of sleep and nutrients you need to
rest. So then it's back to the dorm where you will spend the greater amount of the
afternoon and night playing computer games wishing your homework was done. Around 11:00,
your eyes close for a second too long and you remember you need to sleep. WAIT, before you
can sleep you need to finish your homework! Quick, write that paper, cram for that exam,
do all the odd problems, or at least read the back cover of the book. Eventually you wake
up, (somehow you got into bed, another mystery) and do it all again.
Now there are some issues that I haven't talked about. Like... "should I say it?"... MONEY! About every other day you withdraw anywhere between 10 to 30 dollars, and watch it disappear. This it true, it is a fact you can set a 10 dollar bill in your wallet for 5 minutes and when you check on it again it will be gone. I've personally seen where people have just received their withdrawal, in hand, and it evaporates into thin air... WHILE THEY ARE HOLDING IT!! And everything here at college is really cheap, NOT! Where else is it going to cost you $130 for a 300 page book, or 20 cents a minute for a phone call! Not to mention the thousands you are pouring in to this place. Where does it go? Not into the food I'll tell you that. Other experiences in the college life include people, lots of people. I
believe that there are at least 20 people who know my name and who I consistently say
"Hi" to and carry on long conversations with, yet I have no clue who they are.
It's like "Hey there Ryan" they say. "Umm, Hey... Man," I reply. On
the other hand, people you know who have no clue who you are. You say "Hi" and
then there is that awkward moment where you realize they have no idea who you are and they
realize that you know this. And on the topic of people there are those who "you have
to live with." You know the times when you wake up at 2 am to Heavy Rock Music, or by
the screams of half the dorm "streaking" outside, running curiously close to the
girls dorms wearing only a sock (use your imagination). Or having your roommate sweet talk
to his "sweetie" back home for 3 hours. You need a chisel to remove the receiver
from his ear. These are relationships that will last a lifetime. The next topic is Pizza, need I say more. Pizza is the staple food of a college student, however the saying "you are what you eat" still applies... think about that. Well I should say, for the sake of my parents’ reputation, that not all of this is true. Classes aren't all that bad, I do get to bed at a relatively decent hour, the food is alright, and my roommate is actually a very nice guy (and he always picks up his share of the pizza boxes). The only scary thing is the "streaking" around the dorm is true...very true. Sad to say I missed the festivities and remained partially clothed. I am actually loving it here and I went on a rock climbing trip recently. That was great. I do miss home and even my mom's cooking (I love you Mom) and everything else. College is great, lots of freedom. :-) In closing, there is only one other thing that I, likewise with every other college student, need to say... SEND MONEY!!! Have a great Thanksgiving… Thank you, Ryan Flunker |
