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| "Cheesecake is fine, but can I have substance, too?" |
Between the wasted use of Joel Grey and the idiotic 28 Days Later (a film that is neither scary nor effectively anarchistic,
revolutionary and reactionary all at the same time-distinctions Stephen King has noted occur in the greatest horror movies)
rip off, Alias this season has been all about effective build up followed by a serious case of blue balls. While there
have been strong moments: Jeffrey Bell's scripts which bring a bit of humor, the first shot of the Sloane Clone, Marshall's
day out, the season was, well, kinda sucky.
Which isn't to say I'll ditch the show. I never will. It still keeps me tuning in each week, which is more than I can say
for 24, which lost me midway through season three, never to see me again. However, the last few moments of the finale
has allowed for some interesting possibilities, and I, being a big mouth, have some suggestions about how to get this once
great show back on its feet:
1. Season four moved way too slowly. Go back to season two, the show's best. The reason it rocks is because J.J.
and crew flipped the script midway through. Our heads were where our fee once were, trying to get new footing over the loss
of SD6. It worked. Suddenly Sloane was actively the bad guy and everyone had to deal with new situations, new surroundings.
Season two is two seasons of any other show shoved into one. What makes it so great is its energy. So, for season five,
go back to that formula. Vaughn's been smushed by a car. While some wonder whether he's dead (and that could yield some
great drama), I suggest that he's left in a coma for the first half of the season. Sign him for 11 episodes and put him on
ice for a while. Sydney can search for his secrets while he sleeps, and his waking will fuel the confict from January to
May. This way, we don't have to deal with a whole season of the Syd/Vaughn relationship, which is growing a tad tedious,
but we don't lose it altogether, as I think the show will suffer without it (just as it suffers, a lot, without Will).
2. Bring back the intrigue. Learn the hard lesson of shows that came before: when you try to please everyone, no one is truly
happy. New fans are great, but those are fickle creatures who are drawn into a show simply because they don't have to tune
in every week to keep up. You can lose these creatures as quickly as you find them, which ABC learned midway through the
season when Lost was on hiatus and Alias posted its crappiest numbers all year. Notice that Lost is
appointment viewing, and without it as a lead in, Syd and Co. become a niche market. Accept the show for what it is and live
with it. Get back to what fans love, which is the tangled web of characters: good guys, bad guys, Rimbaldi. The much maligned
season three was still far better than this last, and its because we actually gave a crap about the characters. Right now,
I feel like I waited all season to have Jack and Irina, the only two characters with the fiery chemistry I once expected from
everyone on Alias.
3. Put everyone back in his and her corners. Sloane is a bad guy. Now that Syd sort of trusts him, obviously his devious
game plan, it's the perfect time to show some of his stripes to the audience. Keep him a wolf in liar wolf's clothing (SD6
Sloane) until mid-season (when Vaughn returns), and then make him full blown baddie for the last 11 episodes of both the season,
and, I suggest, the series (go out on top). Make Syd the center of attention again. Did you, J.J. and crew, even notice
that your show was an ensemble this year? It doesn't work for this show. It works best when Jennifer Garner gets to play
the toughest eight-year old girl ever-the one who can kick anyone's ass, and yet everyone still desires to protect. This
is the show's core (think back to that Project Christmas scene with Syd and Jack in the rain, Joni crooning “It's coming
on Christmas, they're cutting down trees…”, the opening lines of the world's loneliest song).
4. Don't leave every mystery mysterious. While Lost does this beautifully (it's the new Seinfeld, a brilliant
show about nothing), Alias is a faster-paced beast. Waiting all season for nothing to happen just doesn't fly. Don't
do it again.
I'm sure there are numerous fans with their own ideas who think mine are silly, but I'm fairly sure one thing is true: Alias
didn't fully please anyone this year, and that's a sad state for one of TV's best shows. Here's to having a Gilmore-esque
season five revival.
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