In short, one might conclude that all knowledge, wisdom, and wit are confined to those who inhabit New York City, Washington, DC, or Hollywood.
As I creep gingerly up on my 7th decade of life experience - which was gained in many cities in the U.S. and in about 30 foreign countries, I decided to put down some ongoing thoughts in a series I call "The View From the Outback." That experience has included the U.S. Marines, law school, the ATF, the CIA, Fortune 500 executive, writer, public speaker, educator, editor, and publisher - for openers. For over 20 years, I have written articles off and on for various magazines and newspapers. I've had an enormous number of letters published in major national publications. The Outback is the rural area in Northeast Texas where I have lived for the past 10 years. Each Friday I will attempt to post a new set of musings from the Outback.
In an earlier column, I mentioned that "The Sopranos" on HBO, which is set in New Jersey, is more fact than fiction. For example, the mayor of Camden, N.J., became the third of the city's last five mayors to be convicted of corruption. Among the charges was "conspiracy to solicit bribes from organized crime figures." I have to chuckle a little. When I was a Federal agent in Philadelphia, I drove through Camden on my way home every night. In those days, the Philadelphia crime boss, Angelo Bruno, lived in New Jersey. He met an untimely death - by shotgun - as I recall. Next to being a pro football coach or a network programming exec, being a Mob boss is one of the least stable jobs in America.
During a TV biography of Las Vegas entertainer Wayne Newton, he mentioned that Johnny Carson constantly made cruel jokes about him, often questioning his masculinity. Wayne is a large hombre. He said that he went to Carson's office, closed the door, and told Johnny that the jokes would stop or he would "knock him on his ass." The jokes stopped. There seems to be a lesson here for those who are being harassed and impugned by Leno, Letterman, Dennis Miller, Bill Maher, Conan O'Brien, SNL, and Craig Killborn. Forget the lawyers. Step up to the plate folks. Sometimes to get a mule's attention, you have to hit him with a 2 X 4.
I got 1.9% APR financing on my Chevy Silverado 2001 truck. But, there are better deals out there. The best is the 0% for a year being offered by Oldsmobile. Ooops! Maybe this has something to do with the fact that the Olds line is being discontinued. They may have to end up paying consumers negative interest to attract buyers. Of course, you could buy a 2001 Olds, put it in the garage along with your Edsel and in 50 years it will become a collector's car.
In an earlier column, I mentioned that Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal) is so thin that if she got seriously ill her body would have no reserves to fall back on. Well, Miss spaghetti-thin collapsed on the set during a taping. She was suffering from dehydration and exhaustion. Two of the ways you get dehydrated are chronically taking laxatives or purging. It is time for her friends to do an "intervention" and confront her with the fact that she can no longer insist that she does not have an eating disorder. So talented, too. Calista, you were probably too young to remember when Karen Carpenter died from "being too thing." We're not stupid. You are, if you keep up this pretense. And if she would put on some weight, she might actually be sexy, instead of just school-girl cute.
NBC has apparently offered Bill Clinton a TV talk show. Many say that it is beneath the dignity of an ex-president to be involved in such a forum. When did lack of dignity ever stop Clinton? Here in the Outback, we are hoping he gets the show. The rival networks would not cover him, and we would know exactly where to find him and avoid that channel and time slot. Please give him a show. We are so sick of seeing his smiling face and used-car-salesman patter on TV - on several channels at once - day and night, seven days a week!
"The O'Reilly Factor" on FOX is getting good numbers. I watched the show for several weeks. Bill O'Reilly has broad experience and is very bright. But, I gradually saw the pattern. Nobody but Bill has an opinion worth listening to. He cuts people off and basically humiliates them. Senators, Ph.Ds, educators, authors - it does not matter. Bill's opinion is more valid. I wonder why guests even go on the show. O'Reilly would be better suited for a show like Rush Limbaugh, where Rush basically delivers a three-hour monologue of his opinions.
Safety Tips From the Chevy Silverado Owner's Manual
Many vehicles today have automatic "running lights" which no doubt give a car or truck more visibility to other drivers. In Europe, and many other places, for decades there has been a lever on the steering column that allows you to flick your high beams off and on, even during daylight when you headlamps are turned off. This is similar to what a police car does when it pulls up behind you. It gets your attention! My new Chevy Silverado 2001 pickup has this feature, incorporated into the "turn signal" lever.
Since I was involved in a potentially fatal accident where someone pulled from a STOP sign directly into my path, I am using the high-beam flicker a lot, even in the small town nearby. It is also good to use just before you pass someone on a two-lane highway. You can see their head turn toward their mirrors when you start flicking the lights. This will cut down on the sudden left turn into you as you as passing, or the other vehicle drifting across the center line as you pass. Even if your vehicle does not have this feature, it is worth the effort to turn on your headlights in daylight and flick your high beams before you pass someone on a two-lane highway.
A good portion of my Silverado owner's manual is taken up with a discussion of seat belts and air bags. The book points out that the portion of the seat belt that goes across your lap should be positioned low in your lap, not across your stomach. If the lap portion of the belt is too high, your pelvis can be fractured in an accident. They also suggest tugging up on the part across your chest to tighten the lap belt portion. It is my new "must do" before putting the truck in gear. Most of this safety stuff will go in one ear and out the other - until you have about 1.5 to 2 seconds to see the blur of color as you are about to hit another vehicle at high speed. And you wonder if those are your last 2 seconds. That gets your attention. Don't wait for that to spur you into being more careful about your safety.
Hillary Clinton's New Book
Hillary Clinton has agreed to accept an $8 million advance for her memoir of the eight years in the White House. When Gingrich wrote a book, he was tarred, feathered, and eventually run out of town on a rail. But until January 3, when she is officially in the Senate, Hillary is not subject to the Senate ethics rules. And of course we know that she has no scruples. So, like Al Gore, she can say, "there is no controlling legal authority." She plans to donate part of the profits to charity. How magnanimous. By donating some to charity, she will ease the tax bite on this preposterously large advance, which is only $500,000 shy of what Pope John Paul II received for his book. The surprise is that Hillary did not demand "more than the Pope." Maybe she'll renegotiate when she realizes her oversight.
The president of Simon & Schuster, and publisher Carolyn Reidy, were invited to a White House State Dinner about three months before Hillary announced her monster book deal with S&H. It is said that she declined to submit a written proposal, but preferred to make an oral presentation of the outline of her book. Is there any doubt that the oral presentation was initiated at taxpayer's expense at a State Dinner? You would think that with her high profile, Mrs. Clinton would go to great lengths to avoid the impression of impropriety. Instead, she, like her husband, seems to go out of her way to thumb her nose at the American taxpayer.
Simon & Schuster, and probably Hillary, were taken aback at the sexual and racist comments posted in the Reader Reaction section of the S&H website regarding Hillary's already published book "An Invitation to the White House." Why these folks are surprised is beyond me. Hillary is probably the most hated public figure, aside from Saddam Hussein. Her election to the Senate in no way mirrors her "approval rating" in most of the country.
So, she is off to a flying, arrogant start as a Senator. It will be wonderful to watch the old guard in the Senate try to bring her down to the realization that she is just the Junior Senator from NY, who has no previous record of public accomplishment. Some of them will be Democrats - count on it. If Hillary is serious about running for president, she needs to gets some humility along the way. That may be more than she is willing to compromise.
The Mother of All Hollywood Activists
There was a great documentary on E! recently about Jane Fonda. What kept me glued was the delineation of all the "causes" she had become involved with over the decades. She stood up for Native Americans when they took over Alcatraz Island in a protest. The narrator said she ended up in one corner smoking pot with the protestors. Not only was she against the Vietnam war, and posed at an anti-aircraft gun in Hanoi, but she made anti-American speeches on Radio Hanoi. She embraced the violent Black Panthers in California - even offering them her house for meetings. She raised the daughter of one of the Black Panthers, who it seems from her well-spoken and nearly Patrician appearances on the documentary, turned out quite well.
But, the "grabber" for me was when someone said that Jane Fonda was really the first big celebrity to use her celebrity to promote causes. That's when I started getting really agitated. So, we have Jane Fonda to thank for the rantings of Martin Sheen, Barbra Streisand, Susan Saranwrap, Rosie O- Donnell and others during this past campaign. She was their role model. Super! Everyone needs their kids to have role models.
Ranters and ravers in Hollywood take note. Because of her activism, especially her Vietnam trip, Jane had a hard time finding work for several years. Oprah ended up in court because she gratuitously bad-mouthed hamburgers. Now, I am happy to read that the syndicators of "The Rosie O'Donnell Show" were not pleased that she had Barbra Streisand on just before the election to spout her political fire and brimstone. Rosie's ratings have been declining. Could it have anything to do with the fact that on nearly every show she got on her soapbox and told us how we should lead our lives? In one year she managed to insult or offend about half the country in one way or another. Now, she apparently will not be renewing her show when the contract is up. Good riddance.
Is there some slight glimmer of hope that entertainers ought to simply try to entertain and let pundits, politicians, journalists, and the clergy tell us how to lead our lives? Naw. I'm dreaming.
COPYRIGHT 2000 Richard C. Rhodes
You are welcome to quote sections from this page - or the whole page, as long as the source URL is included. Of course, I would be flattered if anyone linked to this page. It is very hard to be the writer, editor, fact checker, copy editor, and publisher of anything. So, I welcome corrections of fact, notes of misspelled words, and so on.
Richard C. Rhodes
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