In short, one might conclude that all knowledge, wisdom, and wit are confined to those who inhabit New York City, Washington DC, or Hollywood.
As I creep inexorably toward nearly 70 years of life experience - which was gained in many cities in the U.S. and in about 30 foreign countries, I decided to put down some ongoing thoughts in a series I call "The View From the Outback." That experience has included the U.S. Marines, law school, the ATF, the CIA, Fortune 500 executive, writer, public speaker, educator, editor, and publisher - for openers. For over 20 years, I have written articles off and on for various magazines and newspapers. I've had an enormous number of letters published in major national publications. The Outback is the rural area in Northeast Texas where I have lived for the past 10 years. Each Saturday I will attempt to post a new set of musings from the Outback.
I hear rumors that there are a lot of 2x4s missing from construction sights near car dealerships. It seems that people are massing to descend on auto dealerships and whack up side the head all those guys who come on TV screaming "Don't Miss Our Gigantic Sellathon!" That will wake you right out of a sound nap in the Lazy-Boy.
If any dot-com survives, I cast my vote for Amazon.com. I have been a customer since the very beginning. The other day I went to the site to search for a book about the NSA. When I clicked on the site, there it was sitting as the number one suggestion as to what recent books I might be interested in. Almost scary. They ship promptly, and they have never made a mistake on any order of mine. With "One-Click" ordering, I selected two books and was on my way in about two minutes.
The U.S. Senate voted 96-1 to confirm Viet Dinh and Michael Chertoff to senior positions in the Justice Department. The lone dissenter - Hillary Clinton! What was her reasoning? She put out a lame press release about the two lacking the background and judgement for the jobs. Chertoff is a former counsel to the Senate Whitewater Committee. Dinh worked for the Whitewater independent counsel's office. Any thinking person knows that Hillary is a vindictive witch. Does she have to prove it time after time? She must have a political death wish. Or is she so arrogant and deluded (as is her husband) that she thinks people will fawn over her no matter how asinine her actions? Time will tell.
HBO ran an old comedy series recently. Ellen DeGeneres was wearing makeup, had a very feminine hairdo, and make several jokes about breaking up with her boyfriend. It must have been hard for her. All that pretending. This Fall, she will be on CBS in "The Ellen Show." She plays? A lesbian! Who could have guessed? This will be a nice complement to "Will & Grace," where one character said to the other, "You need to put the homo back in homosexuality." And in a bit of poetic irony, Ellen's former lover, Anne Heche is engaged to a cameraman she met during the filming of a documentary about DeGeneres. Before her romance with DeGeneres, Ms. Heche had a two-year relationship with actor/comedian Steve Martin. Some of those who are researching whether homosexuality is inborn or learned behavior should sit Ms. Heche down for a few days of debriefing - and some brain scans. She might be able to cast some light on the subject, given her ability to change directions with apparent ease.
When you print things from the Internet, are you tired of getting pages that only show the footer of the last page you were interested in, or that inevitable blank page at the end? In Internet Explorer 5.xxx (maybe earlier versions?), click on Print Preview. You can see exactly what pages will print and their content. Then, go to File, Print and select "Print pages 1 to ______ "and enter the last page you actually want to print. As soon as you put an ending page number in there, that print function is automatically selected. It is a couple of steps, but it is worth it to get rid of the frustration of all those extra pages. Not to mention the waste of paper and toner or ink.
ABC will have a new show this Fall called "Alias" - about a female CIA agent. I will be watching it closely, since in 1982 in my novel "Serpent on the Hill," CIA agent Tanya Vaughn was one of the first, if not the first, depiction of a female CIA agent as the primary character in a work of fiction.
You can get an idea of the enormity and complexity of the Endangered Species Act by going to http://endangered.fws.gov (Fish and Wildlife Service). There are 607 animals on the Endangered and Threatened list, including 61 clams and 33 insects. There are 736 plants. Can you name any of them? I could not, until I went to the lists. The Fish & Wildlife Service (Interior Dept.) is currently dealing with nearly 80 lawsuits and has been served with notices of 95 more, which in all will affect 1000 species. In a word, this whole thing is insanity. But, you make your own judgement, if you have the patience to plow through the statistics and reports.
A university professor who ranks beaches has ranked Poipu Beach on the island of Kauai in Hawaii as number one. It is a lovely beach, but best remembered by me as the beach where I broke two ribs in the surf. I was working my way out through the high surf to make a "boogey- board" run. A wave stripped the bathing-suit top off the lovely young lady next to me. I turned to admire the view and was slapped by a wave to the hard sand floor, breaking two ribs. This is a "death-bed" confession. Up to now, I have always told of how I broke two ribs in a wild ride in the surf at Poipu Beach. Never take your eyes off the incoming surf. As they say, "A painful lesson."
Come to Idaho - Land Of The Free
Several children in northern Idaho are holed up, apparently with guns, and the police are at bay. As of this writing, one has come out and is in the care of state authorities. Memories of Ruby Ridge, Idaho, where an innocent boy and his mother were killed by authorities, are causing extreme caution in this case. I love Idaho. If you think Texans are independent and want to secede from the Union, you ought to visit Idaho.
A few years ago I went there to check out some locations as a place to live. Northern Idaho is home to militias and others who take to the high ground and defy the government to come nosing around. "Just leave us alone" is their motto. A reasonable request, one would think. But, Randy Weaver at Ruby Ridge, who just wanted to be left alone, was entrapped (that means induced to commit a crime you were not predisposed to do) by ATF agents into sawing off shotguns (a Federal crime). As an ex-ATF agent, trust me when I tell you Weaver got screwed. In the siege of his property, his son was killed and his wife shot "by accident?" by an FBI sniper. Read the book, "Ambush at Ruby Ridge," by Alan W. Bock, to see your government at its worst. And again, I am a former ATF agent. I understand exactly what went on at Ruby Ridge. It was a national disgrace from the start.
As you listen to talk radio in Idaho, you hear a complete distrust of - and disgust for - nearly everything the Federal government does. The U.S. Congresswoman, Helen Chenoweth, once proposed a bill that would have required the FBI and other Federal agencies to check in with - and get clearance from - local law enforcement officials before they could conduct an activity like trying to serve a warrant, and so on. I was so taken with her feisty spirit and good looks that I wrote her a letter in which I virtually proposed to her (she was single at the time). Actually what I said was that I would come to Boise and work in her Congressional office for no pay, as long as she put me up at her house. Never heard from her. Her loss.
I never found the "right" property for me, but I keep an ear tuned to what goes on in Idaho, one of the last bastions of "The spirit that won our independence as a nation." I am not condoning plots to defy government authority or overthrow the government. But, too many people in this country are oblivious to the various abuses of the government against its citizens. Not in Idaho. They are on top of every issue and let people know about it. It is better to be a little paranoid than have your head in the sand.
"The Animal" - Summer Flopbuster?
Back on Oct. 2, 2000, I wrote the following:
Survivors Start Making Their Moves
From my Aug. 14 "Outback":
Colleen Haskell from "Survivor" is an adorable, feisty, and articulate young lady. You will be seeing much more of her.... The coddled prima donnas of Hollywood better hope that TV abandons the reality shows. Otherwise, some who have been living off their press clippings and media machines, will find themselves in the audience - watching the losers from "Survivor" or "Survivor II" on the screen.
Now, Colleen has signed to do a movie with Rob Schneider ("The Animal"). He is the guy who used to guard the copy machine in skits on "Saturday Night Live" - perhaps one of the most lame bits ever done on that show. How he got to be a "star" is beyond our comprehension in the Outback. For Colleen, this is a start, but she could have held out for working with Michael Douglas or DeNiro. Once tainted with the Rob Schneider brand of sophomoric humor, she may not be able to break out. Good luck Colleen, I had this "starlet" premonition as I watched you sitting in the tree on the island ruminating about life in Paradise. I will bite my tongue and watch the new movie ... because you are in it.
(End of excerpt.)
The great moment has arrived. "The Animal" is coming to a theater near you. I may have to go back on my promise to watch this movie, after having seen the promos. Rob's character is seen bobbing for fish in a table-top aquarium, among other things. Sony Pictures Entertainment is paying four theater chains to run a preview of the film. This is a departure from normal practices and shows how desperate they are to gain an audience for this bit of tripe. What they should do is pay people not to go to see the film. It would be the merciful thing to do.
Bitter Pills To Swallow
Allergy medications like Claritin, Allegra, and Zyrtec are expected to bring in $4.7 billion this year. Those names sound familiar. Haven't we seen them advertised on TV? A doctor at Ohio State University studied 265 patients taking allergy prescription drugs. He found that 65% did not suffer from allergies! Other doctors have noted that many patients are misdiagnosed. Colds, chemicals, and sinusitis can all cause allergy-like symptoms. Guess what? Part of the large number of needless prescriptions written are due to patients who have seen one of the drugs advertised on TV or elsewhere and ask for - or demand - them from their doctor. One more time. Let's take the drug ads off of TV.
The latest TV ad to catch my eye is for Ambien, a sedative - a "sleeping pill." The ad suggests that the normal prescription is written for 7-10 days. Are you kidding? Have you ever had a sleeping problem that lasted for only 7-10 days? Not often. One of the unseen tragedies of American medicine is the number of people who start taking a "sleeping pill" and continue to do so for very long periods of time, even for years.
I am very sensitive to the issue. A doctor prescribed sleeping pills for my mother for about 20 years that I am aware of. She was completely addicted to the pills. We are convinced that this long-term use of prescription sedatives hastened her death. In fact, were it to happen in today's legal climate, I would sue the doctor for malpractice. The week she died, I saw a vial of sleeping pills on her nightstand. I know from talking with people over several decades and by studying the sales generated by "sleeping pills" that there are countless people who are "hooked" on the pills.
This past week has been one of a nostalgic look back at the life of Marilyn Monroe. She was reportedly a regular user of sleeping pills (barbiturates) and is generally considered to have died from a "sleeping pill overdose." There is still controversy over whether the pills were taken by her or administered by someone else - or even whether the pills were the true cause of her death. Regardless, if you or I had five cents for each person over the last few decades who has tried to commit suicide, or was successful, with sleeping pills, we would be rich. Thus, on several levels, it is offensive to me that sleeping pills are advertised on TV. They have been for a long time the "weapon of choice" for the despondent who want to end their life. Now, back to Ambien.
I ran a quick search for people in chat groups who were taking Ambien. Right away, I found a guy who was very pleased that he had been taking Ambien for 9 months with no side effects. Nine months! So much for the 7-10 day treatment pattern. Further research would no doubt turn up similar stories.
Here is some info from the PDR® Family Guide to Prescription Drugs® :
Ambien (Zolpidem tartrate)
Generic name: Zolpidem tartrate
Why is this drug prescribed:
Ambien is used for short-term treatment of insomnia (difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep), or early awakening. A relatively new drug, it is chemically different from other common sleep medications such as Halcion and Dalmane.
Most important fact about this drug:
Sleep problems are usually temporary and require medication for a week or two at most (editorial note: this does not square with my observations over several decades). Insomnia that lasts longer could be a sign of another medical problem. If you find that you need this medicine for more than 7 to 10 days, be sure to check with your doctor.
Side Effects :
More common side effects may include:
Allergy, daytime drowsiness, dizziness, drugged feeling, headache, indigestion, nausea
Less common side effects may include:
Abdominal pain, abnormal dreams, abnormal vision, agitation, amnesia, anxiety, arthritis, back pain, bronchitis, burning sensation, chest pain, confusion, constipation, coughing, daytime sleeping, decreased mental alertness, depression, diarrhea, difficulty breathing, difficulty concentrating, difficulty swallowing, diminished sensitivity to touch, dizziness on standing, double vision, dry mouth, emotional instability, exaggerated feeling of well-being, eye irritation, falling, fatigue, fever, flu-like symptoms, gas, general discomfort, hallucination, hiccup, high blood pressure, high blood sugar, increased sweating, infection, insomnia, itching, joint pain, lack of bladder control, lack of coordination, lethargy, lightheadedness, loss of appetite, menstrual disorder, migraine, muscle pain, nasal inflammation, nervousness, numbness, paleness, prickling or tingling sensation, rapid heartbeat, rash, ringing in the ears, sinus inflammation, sleep disorder, speech difficulties, swelling due to fluid retention, taste abnormalities, throat inflammation, throbbing heartbeat, tremor, unconsciousness, upper respiratory infection, urinary tract infection, vertigo, vomiting, weakness.
Special warnings about this medication:
When sleep medications are used every night for more than a few weeks, some may lose their effectiveness. Remember, too, that you can become dependent on some sleep medications if you use them for a long time or at high doses.
Some people using Ambien have experienced unusual changes in their thinking and/or behavior. Alert your doctor if you notice a change.
Ambien and other sleep medicines can cause a special type of memory loss. It should not be taken on an overnight airplane flight of less than 7 to 8 hours, since "traveler's amnesia" may occur.
When you first start taking Ambien, until you know whether the medication will have any "carry over" effect the next day, use extreme care while doing anything that requires complete alertness, such as driving a car or operating machinery. Older adults, in particular, should be aware that they may be more apt to fall.
Use Ambien cautiously if you have liver problems. It will take longer for it's effects to wear off. If you take Ambien for more than 1 or 2 weeks, consult your doctor before stopping. Sudden discontinuation of a sleep medicine can bring on withdrawal symptoms ranging from unpleasant feelings to vomiting and cramps.
When taking Ambien, do not drink alcohol. It can increase the drug's side effects. If you have breathing problems, they may become worse when you use Ambien.
(End of excerpt.)
So, if you have a temporary sleep problem, a 7-10 day regimen of Ambien might be appropriate. That is, if you have read the above and still want to take it.
Let's pretend. I am your doctor, Dr. Snoooooze, and you come to me and say you want an Rx for that new 7-10 day sleeping pill you saw on TV - "Ambience or something like that," you say.
"Mr. Sleepless. Before I prescribe any sedative for you, I want you to go for a mile or so walk early in the evening. And do some meditation before bedtime to clear your head and relax your mind and body. Make sure that you are going to bed at the same time each night and arising at the same time. If you are on rotating shifts, you have a problem with your internal clock never being in sync, and I would have to prescribe a sedative for as long as you stay on that job. You might become addicted to the pills. Don't use the bedroom for anything but sex (as often as you can) and sleeping. No TV, no reading in bed, and so on. Don't watch violent or thought- provoking TV programs (not too much chance of the latter - except maybe "Nightline") just before you go to bed.
Throw out that cheap mattress you bought when you first got married. Buy the best and most comfortable mattress you can find. You spend about 1/3 of your life on the thing, so don't pinch pennies when you buy. Get one of those "sound machines" that play ocean surf or babbling brooks and put it on the nightstand. They actually help lull people to sleep. Put a note pad or handheld tape machine next to the bed. If something starts nagging you, write it down or dictate it, and deal with it the next day.
Read some of the articles on the Web about how to get a restful night's sleep. There are some good books on sleep. Do a search at Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. If you still feel you need something to slow your engine down so you can sleep, try a cup of KAVA tea, or KAVA KAVA capsules, or Valerian Root capsules, or Chamomile tea, all of which you can buy in a health-food store and in many supermarkets. Then, if you absolutely cannot get to sleep, consider going to a medical sleep clinic, where you can be tested and observed in an attempt to uncover the underlying reason or reasons you cannot sleep.
If all of that fails, I might consider writing you an Rx for a 7-10 supply of a sedative. But only one 7-10 day supply. Let me know how you make out."
Your chance of finding a Dr. Snoooooze are not good, but you ought to keep trying. Oh, and one more time. Let's take those stupid drug ads off the TV. If you agree, e-mail Nancy Ostrove at the FDA: ostrove@cder.fda.gov and share your thoughts.
A Look Back At Our TV Show Predictions
Back on December 15, 2000, I penned some thoughts about the Fall TV season. Here are some of the quotes:
"DAG" may be next. This show features two black Secret Service agents who act more like they are Step n' Fetchit than Federal agents. Even given that this show is supposed to be a comedy, the portrayal demeans blacks, and it surely demeans the fine men and women of the Secret Service, many of whom I have known over the years. Delta Burke is mildly amusing as the First Lady. In short, this show has nothing to offer. Adios!
NBC has canceled "DAG"!
In case you looked for "Censored" and could not find it (why would you want to?), it suddenly showed up in the program guide as "The Weber Show." By any name, it is an aimless mess. Doctors must be agitated at the bumbling fool doctor portrayed by Chris Elliott on the show. They could change the name again to "The Greatest Show on Earth." It would not matter. Not long for this world.
NBC has cancelled "The Weber Show"!
"Welcome To New York" should be put on life support. Christine Baranski (as Marsha), who carried the "Cybil" show with her biting Maryann character, is up to her old bitchy tricks - and is a middle-aged Fox for sure. But, the supporting cast is so weak that she should sue for non- support. The black news anchor is such a lightweight that he could not hold down a memo on the desk in a light breeze. Sarah Gilbert, as the assistant Amy, is a whining, disheveled mess. The weather man, a Midwesterner tossed into the TV jungle in the Big Apple leaves us in the Outback with no sympathy for him. Send him back to Indiana. We long for Christine (Maryann of "Cybil") and her vituperative verbal attacks in absentia of "Doctor Diiick." That was classic TV.
CBS has canceled "Welcome to New York"!
"The Geena Davis Show" has two things going for it: Geena's short skirts and her charming, infectious self. But, those alone will not keep the show alive. There is no chemistry between Geena and her soon-to-be husband on the show. The sardonic, wise-ass future stepson brings to the show a bit of reality as to how hard it is to marry into a family and deal with stepkids. I will miss Geena. She is simply adorable. But, we think the end may be near.
ABC has canceled "The Geena Davis Show"!
"The Michael Richards Show" was doomed from the first episode. Don't they show the pilots to real people (outside of Hollywood or Burbank)?
NBC canceled "The Michael Richards Show"!
"Bette," with the Divine Miss M playing herself, has so much potential. Bette Middler is a unique talent. Already the on-screen husband has been sacked (according to reports). We could simply not imagine the Divine One being married to such a nerd. Apparently we were not alone. We hope that "Bette" survives. Delicious potential, as yet not completely realized.
CBS has canceled "Bette"!
"Spin City" does not seem to have lost a step with the departure of Michael J. Fox. It may even be better. This proves that good writing is the essence of a show. Actors are expendable in many cases. One has only to remember Shelley Long from "Cheers" and David Caruso from "NYPD Blue" to make that point.
"Spin City" (ABC) ratings continue to move ahead.
"Boston Public" is the best new drama in a long time. The reality of trying to teach in some of today's big-city schools is brought home with a vengeance. This show is simply raw emotion. It is really too complex and compelling to describe in easy terms. Catch it if you can stand the reality it presents. The only question we are left with is why any of the teachers, the principal, or the vice-principal would continue to work in such a hostile and thankless environment. Kids spitting on teachers, a lawsuit a day, and on and on. Award winning, for sure.
"Boston Public" (FOX) continues to be one of the best dramas on TV, with consistently provocative and compelling episodes.
They say that "Frazier" is taking audience share from "Dharma And Greg." Not around here. We tape "Frazier" and watch D & G, which has yet to plumb the full depths of the wonderful contrast between the country-club Montgomeries and the hippie Finkelsteins. Some great moments here. "Frazier" and "Dharma" roll right along.
Back on March 10, 2001, I wrote the following regarding Jesse Ventura's work on the XFL broadcasts:
Jesse Ventura Demeans The Office Of Governor
Here is a letter I sent to the editors of the St.Paul Pioneer-Press. It probably never ran.
"I grew up in St. Paul and graduated from the U of M, but now live in Texas. I'm sure glad I don't have to explain to anyone why my governor demeans his office by doing commentary on a largely-moronic football stage on TV. Even worse, his grammar sounds like he failed high- school English.
His Lt. Governor is an educator. At the risk of being body slammed, she might try to clean up his grammar."
NBC has not renewed the XFL contract. The XFL has folded. My vote is that Jesse Ventura played a large part in the failure of the XFL on TV. And now he blames the media. The man is incredible!
This was all so much fun, and showed once again that viewers have a better sense of what will and will not work on TV than most of the TV executives. We will no doubt bring you some reviews of the Fall 2001 shows, although the strain of again being so prescient will be enormous. Even now, I don't understand why people are watching ABC's "What About Joan." After a couple of tries, it seemed pointless and disjointed. And Joan Cusack seems nearly spastic in the role of Joan - making me uncomfortable after just a few minutes of viewing. She is somewhat of a subdued female version of Jerry Lewis with his long-ago version of spastic comedy.
As you watch the Summer replacements and the new Fall shows, take some notes. Drop a line to the entertainment presidents at the networks (see Media List below). Let them know in a short paragraph or two what you think of their shows. Heavens knows, they can use your help. They are not doing well on their own.
COPYRIGHT 2001 Richard C. Rhodes
You are welcome to quote sections from this page - or the whole page, as long as the source URL is included. Of course, I would be flattered if anyone linked to this page. It is very hard to be the writer, editor, fact checker, copy editor, and publisher of anything. So, I welcome corrections of fact, notes of misspelled words, and so on.
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Richard C. Rhodes
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