By

Ronnie Kahn, CFP

If we view money and its emotional responses as a hierarchy, we must begin at the base. Money dysfunction can be rooted in our upbringing and ones reactions to and perceptions of money. Often times, we are responding to external cues that trigger a pattern that over time can be regressive. Karen McCall has shown us a pattern of a downward spiral, which begins with mounting debt and taxes, ignoring bill payments to repossessions and eventually to homelessness and joblessness. Breaking this pattern is first to get out of denial and obtain a structure by strictly tracking all income and expenses. This will then lead to a spending plan and turn the direction upward to one of hopefulness as the debtor begins to dig their way out. The symptoms of money behavior can be seen in money addiction, compulsive shopping and overspending, hoarding, gambling etc. An emotional pattern may emerge where some external event triggers a symptom. This can be, for example, an argument with a spouse where the person ends up at the mall. This can be a form of control, possibly a sense of a way to "win" the argument, or even a revenge motive towards the other spouse. George Kinder has envisioned that at this level, the individual is vacillating between the childhood stages of pain and innocence. They have attached certain thoughts to their feeling and will be condemned to keep up this pattern unless going on into a clearer stage of adulthood.

Today, we can further subdivide our money awareness into such areas as inherited wealth, sudden wealth, gender issues, mid-life issues, etc. By examining how we behave around money and looking to our upbringing and leading up to our current assumptions, we can bring a consciousness and understanding to the methods we have for handling these emotional issues. In the middle of our hierarchy we find the functioning individual who is more reacting to outside daily needs and wants rather then being in balance. We examine the emotional attachments we make to money as well as work and come to an understanding of our perceptions of others and ourselves. For some, life seems to spin by as we fit work and/or family into our busy day. We seem to "fly by the seat of our pants" and very rarely have a disciplined plan and goal for the future. If we do have goals, they are more general. For retirement, we might conjecture that we'll be okay or will make due since we're putting the maximum amount that we can into a 401(k).

By taking a deeper examination of who we are in relation to our standards and values, we can then apply a direction to a plan for now and the future. However, our earning it and spending it usually have not been viewed in this broader perspective. As an exercise, we can start by imagining ourselves as older and looking back on our lives or even looking at our own death which can elicit this type of viewpoint. But someone can only do this introspection when they are in firm control of their inner lives. Their self-esteem needs to be at a level where their internal values can be a match for where the heart and mind want to go. That is why we need to be conscious first of our money attitudes. Having come to consciousness, we can now obtain a balance by matching our direction with our core.

Furthermore, every individual needs to become aware of basic investing and financial concepts. Even if outside help is sought, it is their life and they must be able to make informed decisions. If one has a life threatening disease, they don't need to go to medical school just to understand the disease. But they do want to be informed about the pros and cons of treatment, so that they are making the best choice for their body. As for investments, the same holds true. One doesn't need to know every technical aspect of investing strategies, but they need to know the larger picture on how capital markets work, so they can determine the best direction of their own money picture.

Setting specific goals and objectives is the best way to ensure success. All change takes pain. If you're in constant stress over money but your afraid to confront the issue, you can be no better off than you are now. Your choice is to move forward and grow or stay where you are and avoid making a mistake. As all this comes into focus, a new energy should be forming. A feeling that positive things can come when you're aligned and balanced with your values and your goals. It is the process or journey that you're really after. The prize at the end will only be the results of your actions. But as the journey and the prize become clearer, you can now achieve the vitality needed for change.

Along the way, you must not only be true to your nature but act with integrity while undergoing this transformation. Maria Nemeth shows us that acting incongruously without integrity will only sap the very energy we need.

Above this level on our hierarchy, Kinder speaks of an awakening into "vision" and a stage he calls "aloha," which can be thought of as a semi-nirvana stage filled with goodwill and the passing of a blessing. At any rate, it is our American Psyche that seems to value our rugged individualism. There are scores of books on self-help and investing on your own. Some individuals seemed to be addicted to following the next awareness trend. But somewhere along the line, we need to come to a realization that there are higher goals. Goals that are set in regard to a sense of community and helping others, or even other goals that are set in regards to this fragile planet that we are all liable for.

In this regard, the darker sides of money can be reshaped into the most uplifting parts of our lives in this journey or journeys that we are on. Like the film editor and film director that takes the raw footage and creates a masterpiece, we control how the imagery will come out. Live the masterpiece, but don't forget to have a laugh at the snippets of "B" Movie that are bound to take you by surprise as well.

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