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Christopher Cannon This Utah Congressman was one of the 13 House Judiciary Committee members who begged the Senate to remove Bill Clinton from office. Most Republicans insist it wasn't about sex. Oh, yeah? Well, it was the sex that got Chris hot and bothered. "The first thing he (Clinton) did was create a debate about homosexuality in the military." Actually, it popped up early because Republicans were threatening to ban gays from serving. Chris especially didn't like former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. He attacked her for talking about masturbation, which he called "self-abuse." Self-abuse? Gee, Chris, maybe you're doing it all wrong. There's no reason to hurt yourself. Have you tried some lubrication? Chris said Elders shouldn't have been appointed -- that the whole point was "to have an advocate for weird alternative lifestyles." By weird, Chris, do you mean like having several wives the way some folks STILL DO back home in Utah? Chris himself evolved from a weird alternative lifestyle. His great-granddaddy was George Q. Cannon, Utah's first territorial delegate. That was back before Utah gained statehood. Counselor to Church President Brigham Young, Great-Granddaddy Cannon had five wives simultaneously, along with a huge mess of children underfoot. Sounds like an old-fashioned orgy to me, Chris. Or did he sleep with just one woman at a time? Oh, well, excuse me. |
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MORE LINKS! The Best They Could Get -- 2000 Presidential Candidates Did You Behave Yourself in the Oval Office? -- Former Presidents Where Were You When They Impeached the President? -- The Ringleaders Nominated for their Supporting Roles in the Farce "It Isn't About Sex" -- Senators & Congressmen Whatever Happened to the Class of 1994? Hey, Baby! Did I Tell You I Used to be a Congressman? -- Former Senators & Congressmen Could You Rub Me a Little Below the Beltway? -- State & Local Officials Who am I to Judge? Did God Really Say That, Or Did You Make That Up? Screw the Public! Who Needs to Get Elected to Run the Country? Leftovers My Dog Won't Eat |