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J.C. Watts

Whenever there's a photo op, Republicans round up all the black folks they can get on stage to smile at the cameras. Now they've got their own genuine black Congressman, and they're just tickled pink about it. (White folks are really pinkish, but they don't say that because pink's a girl's color.)

The Republicans are so proud to have J.C. aboard. He's black, and they don't even have to keep tabs on him to make sure he's not hanging with the Congressional Black Caucus. That's because he won't mess with them. He sticks with white folks, mostly.

This former University of Oklahoma quarterback was first elected in 1994 by the Sooner State's 4th District, which is only 5% black and has a Democratic registration of 60%.

House Republicans were so anxious to show off their new trophy that they elected him Republican Conference Chairman in 1998. The job doesn't mean much, but don't tell that to J.C. He thinks it's a real job. In fact, J.C. threatened to quit the post after a dispute with House Majority Whip Tom DeLay. Tom tried to encroach on his territory, so J.C. complained to House Speaker Denny Hastert. But don't expect Denny to rein in Tom because everybody knows Tom runs the show.

J.C. has clashed with Tom a few times. He probably gets a little nervous when Tom walks around cracking his whip. I'm sure J.C. doesn't cotton to white guys with whips -- especially one with a Napoleon complex.

Whether you like him or not, J.C. has been a stand-out guy. In 1997, he was picked to deliver the GOP response to President Clinton's State of the Union address. He's got a great preaching voice. An ordained Baptist minister with a family of five, Julius Caesar Watts, Jr., has racked up a 100% approval rating from the Christian Coalition. He's been Pat Robertson-approved.

But he hasn't always been a perfect angel. When he was in high school, he fathered a child out of wedlock. But his uncle took the child in, and eventually J.C. helped out.

When he was in the oil business during the late 1980s, he piled up huge unpaid debts and unpaid taxes, which resulted in property foreclosures and lawsuits. Eventually he paid off his creditors.

But when he served on the Oklahoma Corporation Commission, he was investigated by the FBI for taking bribes from a lobbyist representing a phone company -- a company the commission was supposed to regulate. But he was never charged. According to J.C., "there was nothing illegal, unethical or immoral about taking money from those you regulate."

No wonder he joined the GOP. It pays better.