George W. Bush Charlton Heston Rudolph Giuliani John McCain Alan Keyes Pat Buchanan Ronald Reagan George Bush Dan Quayle Richard Nixon Bob Dole Elizabeth Dole Jerry Falwell Pat Robertson Sun Myung Moon Jesse Helms Strom Thur

Jon Christensen

Here's an underachiever you'd never expect to see in Congress -- and you won't now because he didn't last long.

Before his 1994 election, Jon Christensen of Nebraska had a tough time getting a career going. He graduated from law school but barely passed the state bar exam on his third attempt. Then no law firm would hire him, so he decided to sell insurance.

His resume also listed him as a landscaper, but he fudged that a little. He was really selling lawn care products from his garage.

Yet somehow Jon managed to get elected. It was a kooky year when over half the new electees had never held office -- and had even offered their lack of experience as a qualification. Thus, you'd have to expect a few duds.

But in 1996, Jon's poll ratings began to sink. Negative stories about his pending divorce hurt him, especially after he had campaigned as a pro-family, Religious Right kind of guy. So he talked his wife, Meredith, into saying the breakup was all her fault because she had screwed around.

During his second term, Jon got cocky and announced he was heading home to run for Governor. Being a Congressman, he automatically became a major contender.

But his campaign got silly when he tried to one-up his opponents on how virtuous he was. He even bragged that his new fiancée, a former Miss America, was still a virgin. That must have lost him the men's vote. I mean, if you want to impress the guys, refusing sex with a Miss America isn't the way to go.

So, his campaign shriveled up, putting him in third place in the primary. And what's Jon up to now? Mowing lawns in Omaha, I guess.