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Bob Dornan

"B-1 Bomber Bob" Dornan made a lot of noise in his eighteen years in Congress. The belligerent right-winger from Orange County, California, didn't accomplish much, but he will be remembered for his colorful language.

He used to taunt female opponents as "lesbian spearchuckers." And in 1992, he stood on the House floor and said Bill Clinton would "turn the White House into a whore house." Hey, those women did it for free.

But Bob has had his own marital problems. Between 1960 and 1974, his wife Sallie filed for divorce (and retracted) four times, accusing him of mental and physical cruelty. In 1966 a judge ordered him to jail after finding him guilty of violently attacking his wife. Now his wife disavows her previous charges, saying she had been on drugs.

Rabidly anti-abortion, he likes to tell folks he was born on the same date as the crucifixion of Jesus. Jesus died, and Bob was born. Yeah, I see the connection.

Bob's got a little show biz in his blood. His mom was a Ziegfeld girl and his uncle was Jack Haley, the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz. Sometimes he fills in for Rush Limbaugh on his radio show.

In 1996, he got a swelled head and decided to run for President. The campaign went nowhere, so he ran instead for a seventh House term.

And he lost -- to Democrat Loretta Sanchez, a Mexican-American woman. It was a real kick-in-the-balls for a supermacho racist white guy like Bob.

He refused to accept defeat. He insisted that illegal aliens had voted. He demanded a recount, which he got -- but still lost. Then he tried to get the House to overturn the election on charges of voter fraud. Even the Republican-controlled House didn't see it that way.

Then he ran again in 1998 and lost. Now with the 2000 election approaching, this crazy gringo's looking for another district to run in -- one with lots of whites who don't mind a guy going loco.