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David Duke If David Duke asks you to get under the sheets with him, sex might not be what he has in mind. Formerly the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan and head of the American Nazi Party, Dave said his past activities were all a "youthful indiscretion." I've been hearing that excuse a lot lately. Now he heads a new organization -- the National Association for the Advancement of White People. Yeah, that sounds a lot more mature. No, wait -- he ripped that name off the NAACP. Isn't it bad enough that white folks have ripped off black music? Wait till Little Richard hears about this. Dave's trying to change his image. He got a nose job, a dye job (he's blond now), and he's a born-again Christian. In 1989, he stunned the nation when he got elected to the Louisiana House of Representatives. The next year, he set his sights higher and ran for the U.S. Senate against popular Democratic incumbent J. Bennett Johnston. He lost, but he got a majority of the white vote. The next year, he ran in Louisiana's wacky gubernatorial free-for-all in which Democrats and Republicans go at it in one big primary. Dave sent shock waves through the national Republican Party when he qualified for the runoff against Democrat Edwin Edwards, a former governor. Party officials disavowed him and refused to support his candidacy. Dave didn't quite understand the Republican way -- that you're not supposed to come right out and say you don't like black folks. A good Republican knows how to be subtle about these things. He has to know the code words -- like welfare, racial quotas, and Willie Horton. In 1992, Dave ran for President as a Republican, but that went nowhere because Pat Buchanan had already locked up the white trash bigot vote. So now Dave continues to run and lose, having won only the 1989 State House race. In 1995, he ran for Governor again, promoting some off-the-wall ideas. He told The Advocate, a gay magazine, that folks with AIDS should have their genitals tattooed with glow-in-the-dark ink. And he believes AIDS got started when somebody had sex with a monkey in Africa. In 1999, he tried to run in the special election for Bob Livingston's Congressional seat. He campaigned on a white rights platform, but he went nowhere. I guess folks are getting tired of him. Dave needs to try something new -- like not running. Or maybe he could learn how to rap or do hip-hop. Kids today are really into that. |
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MORE LINKS! The Best They Could Get -- 2000 Presidential Candidates Did You Behave Yourself in the Oval Office? -- Former Presidents Where Were You When They Impeached the President? -- The Ringleaders Nominated for their Supporting Roles in the Farce "It Isn't About Sex" -- Senators & Congressmen Whatever Happened to the Class of 1994? Hey, Baby! Did I Tell You I Used to be a Congressman? -- Former Senators & Congressmen Could You Rub Me a Little Below the Beltway? -- State & Local Officials Who am I to Judge? Did God Really Say That, Or Did You Make That Up? Screw the Public! Who Needs to Get Elected to Run the Country? Leftovers My Dog Won't Eat |